I’m used to starting the school year in January-it just feels right. New year, new grade, right? But that’s not how it is anymore. My academic year starts in September. And last semester was a ride. A tragedy Shakespearean himself couldn’t craft, a landlord from somewhere deeper and darker than hell, Cardgate (for legal reasons, we won’t elaborate) and in the midst of all this, as I was drowning, my laptop sank with me. And together, we hit rock bottom.
I hadn’t cried all semester, but that was my breaking point. The laptop was already soaked, what’s a few more drops of water? You see, when I got my ‘first job’* in 2023 I used the money to fix my first laptop after I’d smashed it (1. It wasn’t insured and 2. my laptop is my everything). And so I worked and got it fixed. But this time round it was water damage and the price to fix it cost more than buying an actual replacement. I decided I’d buy a new one at some point. Then employment let me down slowly and at some point started to sound like never.
*it’s hard to pinpoint when I first started working
Until l did some math, not girl math, took a deep breath, made a Pinterest board and a playlist.
Since my last blog post I haven’t posted. Writing my academic essays in a short space of time stripped my brain of any and all vocabulary and I needed to reboot. I have spent the past 2 weeks settling back in my room, doing some much needed organising and prep in order to put habits in place. This year I wanted to read more, move more and spend more time creating. And without the assistance of 10 self-help books, I’ve been doing that. I’m not against self-help books but I’m of the belief that we just know.
For the last half of 2024 I consciously didn’t focus on personal development. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but I was stuck in situations I hadn’t fully processed. I didn’t need to force growth that moment, it wouldn’t have happened nicely. This year, I can’t tell you why, but I need to evolve, whether I fully understand it or not. And I didn’t know where to start. Until I realised that I did.
I’m not a know-it-all and I’ve not been in this exact place before. But in a strange way, I’ve been here before. (I won’t bore you with epistemology right now). I know what change feels like. I know the yearning for transformation. I know the sense of clarity that comes from a clean slate – and I understand its value. I know what preparation feels like and I’ve felt its effects.
And yet, here I am.
Even though I know all these things, I’ve never been exactly where I am now. Sometimes it feels like past experiences and present circumstances are lifetimes apart, even if there are common threads. More often than not, my instinct is to seek a new approach- try something different, a shiny new strategy. It’s easy to want to do that in a world of never-ending trends and fads. I don’t think new things are bad, but I find they undermine the lessons I’ve already learned. It diminishes the meaning of my struggles and triumphs.
The truth is: I don’t need the perfect solution. I need to take action.
Here’s what I’ve been doing…
- Acceptance
- I cannot do everything, it’s just not possible. Great Zimbabwe wasn’t built in a day. So I’ve been tackling my improvement with one aspect at a time and giving myself grace where needed. I can’t account for mishaps or tragedies, and that’s okay.
- Limitation
- In line with acceptance is knowing my limits. I’m aware of these but sometimes it’s hard to act on. This can look like a screen limit, or not consuming something and maybe not being somewhere. For me, this looks like going shopping with a list, resisting the urge to buy every impulse item, and… it’s painless. Setting limits isn’t always about restriction, sometimes it’s about liberation. It’s about protecting my energy, not withholding it.
- One Percent
- Taking a leaf out of my brother’s book, I’ve embraced the power of baby steps. I focus on one small task at a time, like cleaning my desk today, doing laundry tomorrow, and organising my bathroom the next day. It’s a slow process but the steady rhythm makes the bigger picture feel less overwhelming. For larger goals, like acquiring a skill, I might decide to hone in on one hobby per month instead of trying to juggle everything at once. The key isn’t doing it all, it’s doing it right now.
- DomiNO Effect
- I’ve learned not to let one setback destroy everything. If I miss one habit or get off track, it doesn’t mean the entire system collapses. If I wake up and miss my reading time, it’s not the end of the world. I make time elsewhere in my day to catch up. It’s about being flexible, not rigid.
- Day-doing
- Looking at the bigger picture can be inspiring, it’s motivating, even. But I’m not there yet. So I have to let go of hypotheticals and what-ifs and focus on the now. Instead of getting stuck in thinking about something for too long, I write it down or just do it, right then and there if I have the time. Getting out of my head and into action has been one of the most rewarding shifts I’ve made.
I’ve learned that growth doesn’t always happen in neat, linear steps. Sometimes, it’s about honouring where you are, embracing the mess, and taking those small, meaningful actions day by day. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. Sometimes, the most important thing is simply starting. As I move into this year, I’m doing just that—taking action, one small step at a time, without the pressure of perfection. And that, in itself, feels like progress.